


Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more.

by Juniiper



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Vampire, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, Seungcheol and the “I really fucking love my wife” agenda but jeonghan’s the “wife”, they have a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-14
Updated: 2021-03-14
Packaged: 2021-03-22 16:54:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30041805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Juniiper/pseuds/Juniiper
Summary: And it may be selfish but there is something about Jeonghan that demands this of him. Something about the love he has promised him that has him acting like a fool. Like a child.Utterly dependant and hopelessly in love
Relationships: Choi Seungcheol | S.Coups/Yoon Jeonghan
Comments: 6
Kudos: 87





	Tell me we're dead and I'll love you even more.

**Author's Note:**

> It is extremely important to me that you know that jeonghan has long silver hair and Seungcheol has blue hair in this. Also they live in a castle! Anyway, enjoy!

  
  
  
  


“Since when have we taken naps?” Seungcheol mutters into the quiet of the room. They’re wrapped up in velvet blankets on the bed, on a cold mid December night. 

Usually at a time like this, Jeonghan liked to roam the forests. Liked to feel the chill in the air on his skin, the wind in his hair and the loud sounds of nature. He liked the freedom that came with the nightfall, the silence that settled once the humans locked themselves in the safety of their house, just like they had in the daylight. 

But things were different now. Far different. 

And it all had to do with the tiny child bundled up in a blanket between them. 

“The baby needs to sleep.” Jeonghan stated as if it were the most obvious thing. 

Her head rested against Jeonghan’s hip, pink hair wild as she tossed her head one way and the other to get comfortable. Jeonghan took one look at her, a smile making its way on his face, one reserved for the child alone. He tutted and placed a gentle hand against her cheek and just like that the rising tide had calmed and the child settled, snuggling further into the blankets, into Jeonghan’s warmth. 

They were vampires. They ran cold but warmth didn’t necessarily mean heat to them. It meant comfort. It meant solace and in that regard, Jeonghan ran as warm as a furnace. 

“Hm, that doesn’t change the fact that we do not, my darling. Not at night time.” Seungcheol tried to reason, tried to point out the obvious but he only received a glare from Jeonghan in response, one that had him halting all words. He was never one to argue with Jeonghan.

What jeonghan wanted was what Seungcheol wanted. There wasn’t another way about it. 

“Things will change now. We’ll change.” Jeonghan spoke after a few wistful moments, his hand was still set against Areum’s cheek, finger stroking the softness of her cheeks. “We’ll be better. For her.” 

It was true. They would change for the better but there was not a thing about Jeonghan that Seungcheol would change. They’d known this baby for mere days and yet Jeonghan was the perfect parent. Where Seungcheol was uncoordinated and a little awkward, Jeonghan was sure, a natural. In these few days Seungcheol had seen Jeonghan mole himself to suit every need of the child and he couldn’t help but let himself fall deeper. 

“You’re already perfect, my love. Change is not what you need.” Seungcheol tried. He had many words to say but he wasn’t sure they would hold the weight of his love, wasn’t sure they would convey exactly what it was he felt. And so he chose to show through his actions, through a kiss to Jeonghan’s shoulder, through a handhold, tight and reassuring. 

“But it is what she demands.” Jeonghan spoke low and some of his doubt registered in Seungcheol’s mind. No matter how at ease Jeonghan seemed to be, there was still a niggling in his brain that reminded him of all the bad things that could happen. Seungcheol felt it too. 

He felt it so immensely and yet he chose to ignore it because to him what mattered was the present. To him what mattered was holding Jeonghan close like this, having their daughter close by. To him what mattered was this.

His family. 

And God knows, he would rip everything apart if it meant his beloved were safe. 

“Then we shall do everything in our power to make sure that she is loved, that she is cared for. But do not doubt yourself for a second, my love. To love does not mean to lose.” He places a trail of kisses up Jeonghan’s shoulder, ducks down to breathe him in, to bite him teasingly. Repeating till all he hears is the sound of Jeonghan’s melodious laughter and the soft cooing from their daughter. 

A love so pure would not be tainted with thoughts so awful. 

* * *

There’s a portrait of Jeonghan hung up high on the mantle. 

A portrait done in blues and pinks and peaches and creams. A portrait that Seungcheol did with his mind full of uncontrollable thoughts of the other vampire. One that Jeonghan cherisheds. One that Seungcheol cherishes just as much but not for the work but for the subject itself. 

It was now replaced. A portrait of the three of them hung on the mantle instead. One that Jeonghan insisted be made the day Areum was born. Because he was selfless like that. Because he preferred seeing the ones he loved rather than himself placed high in a gallery. 

Seungcheol had thought it preposterous. To behold Jeonghan and his beauty was a favour upon every pair of eyes. But of course Jeonghan did not see it that way. 

He watches from close by as Seungcheol paints, makes sure he puts in the effort in the drawing of himself as well. Points out the little details on Seungcheol’s face so the painting can be perfect but Seungcheol revels in how Jeonghan has every plane of his face memorised. 

It isn’t any different for him. He could paint jeonghan with his eyes closed and there wouldn’t be a mistake. It’s an easy sort of remembrance that came with time, with close observation. With unyielding adoration. 

They hang it up together on the mantle, Areum kicks her legs in approval and Jeonghan smiles the whole day. 

Seungcheol selfishly hangs the old painting in his study. 

For him to keep. 

  
  


* * *

  
  


“Are we monsters?” Jeonghan speaks out into the silence, the candlelight hits his face in the best of ways but it only makes his sad eyes more prominent. Normally Seungcheol would compliment him on the parlour of his skin, on the red of his pupils but compliments won’t work in a situation like this. 

In times like these, Jeonghan made Seungcheol question their existence. Made him contemplate every aspect of their life and it more often than not left them both scrubbed raw. In ruins. 

Because truthfully, neither of them had an answer. 

The humans thought of them as such and Seungcheol thought it was this distinction that made it harder on Jeonghan. 

It was what he told himself to curb the never ending guilt. Guilt that manifested in his being from the very first time he saw Jeonghan working in the field as a mere human. 

Guilt that made a home in his heart the day Jeonghan fell in love with him. Guilt that consumed him when Jeonghan asked what it was like to be like him. 

Guilt that festered, grew from the day that he realised that wasn’t ever a question about it. Guilt for wanting to keep Jeonghan for all of eternity. Guilt for trapping Jeonghan.

“Did you think me a monster when you saw me first?” It’s a different response from usual but Seungcheol can barely hold himself back seeing the way Jeonghan's gentle features settle with the pain. Clarity was what they needed. 

Reassurance. 

It’s a question that has Jeonghan staring at him with wild, wide eyes. He looks offended at the mere suggestion and Seungcheol relaxes even if just a little. How would he have lived with himself if the reaction was any different? 

“You are nothing close to a monster. You are a good man. The man I have trusted with my life. The man I have trusted with my heart.” Jeonghan says the words slowly but sincerely and Seungcheol has never loved him more. Because even after an eternity together Jeonghan still flushed while confessing his love. And like from the start Jeonghan could never stand the doubt in Seungcheol’s words. 

So how could he not be the same. How could he let Jeonghan continue to be plagued by the thoughts that had the power to consume him? 

“Do you ever regret it?” He asks with caution because he’s seen the way Jeonghan stares longingly at the open fields, the way he misses the markets, the way he craves to talk to anyone else just as he did before. 

The wild look is still there in Jeonghan’s eyes but the sadness is replaced with passion and determination as he answers. 

“Not for a second.” 

“Then how could you be a monster when you don’t even consider me one.”

* * *

Areum cries. She cries more than Seungcheol ever thought a child could hand Seungcheol perturbed each time she does. 

Jeonghan says it’s natural. That it’s the new fangs that hurt. Teething, he called it. 

But Seungcheol is never settled. Never satisfied. 

No, he chooses to hold her till she stills, till she’s calm. But he’s no expert. 

He’s awkward and clumsy. He holds her too tight or not tight enough. He’s too cold or he’s too warm. He’s a mess and he can’t stop the cries. He’s not Jeonghan. 

And that’s okay on most days because he can stand behind his husband's back as he cradles the baby in his arms. He can watch mesmerised as Jeonghan can recognise each cry for what it is. 

He can watch with admiration as uses his nail to slit his skin just a little, can watch as he lets Areum suckle on it and be astonished each time it calms her so quickly. 

Perhaps it is everything about Jeonghan that is comforting. Because Seungcheol feels the same relief each time he is near. 

Because he too feels the unrest when Jeonghan is not near. Because he too misses him down to his core. 

And it may be selfish but there is something about Jeonghan that demands this of him. Something about the love he has promised him that has him acting like a fool. Like a child. 

Utterly dependant and hopelessly in love. 

  
  


* * *

The shouts are getting louder with each passing second, loud enough to draw Seungcheol out of his study. Most times he wouldn’t have given it a second thought. The humans tended to shout their disdain to the forest but this was unlike anything he had heard before. 

This wasn’t a traveler in anguish. It wasn’t a hunter in frustration. No, this was a hoard. So many of them. Their loud chants had left him shaking as he rushed through the stone corridors to Jeonghan and their daughter. 

They were weaker when they were apart. Vulnerable. Mind and body. 

And Seungcheol knew, despite telling himself off for it many times, that Areum only made them more vulnerable. 

There wasn’t a thing they wouldn’t do for her. She was their pride. She was everything and Seungcheol in the depths of his heart knew that that would be their downfall. 

It makes him walk faster, mind racing as his eyes roam every corner in search for his family. And relief only settles when he sees Jeonghan.

He’s standing next to their bedroom window, a grim expression set on his delicate face as he clutched Areum close to his chest. The child looked to be at ease, nestled in the warmth of Jeonghan’s. She was unaware of the danger that awaited them, unaware of the turmoil her fathers were facing and Seungcheol would go to the ends of the earth to keep it that way. 

To keep her safe. 

To keep Jeonghan safe. 

Because what was he if not a protector. 

“They’re getting closer.” Jeonghan spoke in a voice that was barely recognisable. It was stable as ever, low and comforting but there was a vacancy to it that unsettled Seungcheol. He didn’t have to look too carefully to notice the tremble in Jeonghan’s hand, the rapid rise and fall of his chest. 

His words were true, there was a yellow glow not too far away, diminished slightly by the thick greenery but prominent nonetheless. It was much farther than anyone had ever made it before. Most would be warded off by the seemingly unending darkness and that was what they relied on. It was their safety and suddenly it wasn’t effective. 

And in that moment nothing else mattered. All Seungcheol could do, all he wanted to do was hold Jeonghan in his arms and assure him that things would be okay. That they would never get to them. That they would be safe in the confines of their castle. That they could keep Areum safe. 

But he couldn’t say those words. Not when Jeonghan knew him better than he knew himself. Not when Jeonghan could pick him apart so easily. 

There were no words to be said. 

There were no words  _ to _ say.

So Seungcheol took his family in his arms, held them tightly to his chest and prayed for their safety, hoped against all hope that they would just give up. Hoped that they would be left alone. 

“I wish they would stop.” Jeonghan’s voice was barely a whisper, a broken version of what Seungcheol was used to, anguished and heartbreaking. He turned his head to tuck it into Seungcheol’s neck and banked on his warmth. On familiarity. On everything that kept him going. 

To him, it was clear then that he would never hold back, did they ever bring harm to his family. He knew that they would perish. 

Because Seungcheol could stand many things but  _ never _ to see his family hurt. 

“They won’t get to us.” 

* * *

  
  


They don’t need to eat human foods, not really. Their body doesn’t digest it the way it should but there’s a feeling associated with eating that Jeonghan enjoys and Seungcheol lives to keep him happy. 

They spend their afternoon in the kitchen. Slicing meat, cutting vegetables, stirring pots. The smile never leaves Jeonghan’s face and Seungcheol never once falters with his compliments. 

Areum sits on the floor of the kitchen, mesmerised by the various pots and pans. Seungcheol wishes he could capture the moment forever.

“It has been so long since we have waltzed my darling.” Seungcheol steps up behind Jeonghan, takes a hold of his waist, spins him till their pressed chest to chest and Jeonghan is laughing breathlessly. 

“Far too long, lovely.” Jeonghan whispers and it is only second nature for Seungcheol to start to sway, leading them into a routine that is so familiar. 

There is no music. Just Jeonghan’s laughter and Areum’s babbles and it is perfect. 

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I’ve been a little insecure about my writing these days but I still wrote something lol
> 
> The title is a quotation from a Richard Siken poem. 
> 
> Twitter: [dusksvt](http://www.twitter.com/dusksvt?s=09)


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